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SKIP SWIFT
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My story is quite novel, as you will see. I’ve always had a strong passion for music, but never dreamt I would someday be a musician. The other Freeplayers say that day still hasn’t come, but they can use my own licks to kiss my arse! (IF they can figure them out, they always say they have NO idea what the heck I am doing over here, which I take as a compliment!) It all started one day while fishing off my boat (did I mention my boat has gold plated custom welded ornate railings I created?) Anyway, I was trolling off the Bermuda Triangle- before that day the hogwash about the Triangle never bothered me. Then, inexplicably, my radio went out, my compass began spinning uncontrollably, I heard a little buddy yelling “Skipppeeerrrr” and I caught some talking fish trying to sell me on granting me wishes if I would send him back in the sea. I skinned him and saved him in case I ended up at sea for awhile and got hungry- my momma didn’t raise no dummies. My depth finder showed no objects in the water, yet my propeller hit something, shearing it from my motor and settling on the ocean floor. I took a deep breath and dove down to retrieve my propeller. Seeing as I can hold my breath for upwards of twelve minutes, I wasn’t concerned. Unfortunately, the propeller split into tens of shards of metal. I picked them up and placed them in my pocket when I heard it for the first time- an undeniable beautiful choral harmony. It was so captivating I almost gasped out the remaining eight minutes of air I had left in my lungs. It was a shipwreck of a schooner called “The Harmony”. That’s when I knew what I had to do. I must construct a guitar from the ravages of this shipwreck. I peeled off some planks of the ship ever so gently and returned to the surface. I chewed the propeller pieces until they were rudimentary luthier tools, good enough to craft with and bring my vision to life. Who cares my boat and life were adrift unknowingly in any direction? Who cares I was low on water? Not me, I was on a mission. I'd have to build a salt evaporation still for purified water later. Maybe I should have taken the fish up on his offer, but I couldn't worry about that now and needed him for sustenance anyway. Slowly and methodically I was able to curve the wood into desired shape using a combination of rope, buoys and anchor weight. I deconstructed my gold plated custom welded ornate radio antenna to use as frets seeing as the radio was no good to me now. A few different fishing line gauges later and I had me some strings. I couldn't believe it! My first guitar made by my own ingenuity! And the rest my dear friends, is history!
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